shadow

whatever i do, i’m misread,
whatever i say, You don’t trust me,
whatever i think, i must have something else in my mind,
whatever is wrong, is my fault,
whoever i am, i’m never good enough,

don’t know if You expected someone else,
don’t know if the expectations were too high,
or just that your ghosts and fears are so great,
that the world around is always poisoned.

i’ve opened my heart, been truthful, cared
tried to save You from darkness,
from bitterness,
took whatever hits i could take,
so that You wouldn’t be hurt,
i always stood by You, and defended You,
even when You don’t understand neither how nor why i do it,
even when You ran away,
even when You hurt me…

but i was never enough,
everything i did was tainted, corrupted or poisoned,
either by others or by yourself [i’ll never know]
everything was a test, which was set for me to lose
[whatever the outcome i always lost],
i could have never been the man you wanted,
‘cause You never really looked at me

i may not be the one,
i may have failed massively,
but i loved You from the start