m'agradaria

the constant gardener

- I can get you out of Kenya. It's one of the few things that we still do well. Drop it now, and it's over. I'll make sure word gets to the right people. Go home... and live.
- But I don't have a home, Tim. Tessa was my home.

noite

acordo de noite subitamente
e o meu relógio ocupa a noite toda...

não sinto a Natureza lá fora,
o meu quarto: uma coisa escura com paredes vagamente brancas
lá fora há um sossego como se nada existisse

só o relógio prossegue o seu ruído
esta pequena coisa de engrenagens que está em cima da minha mesa
abafa toda a existência da terra e do céu...
quase que me perco a pensar o que isto significa,
mas estaco,

sinto-me sorrir na noite com os cantos da boca,
porque a única coisa que o meu relógio simboliza ou significa
é a curiosa sensação de encher a noite enorme
com a sua pequenez...

Fernando Pessoa

quem ama não dorme

..while growing up he is considered strange by the other people and discovers his love to music, especially to playing the organ at the local church. After experiencing an "acoustic wonder", his eye color changes and he can hear even the most subtle sounds. He falls in love with Elsbeth, the sister of Peter, a neighbor's son, who has loving feelings towards him ever since. After Elsbeth marries someone else, he decides to end his life by not sleeping anymore

the story of a musician, who brought his life to an end at the age of 22 having decided not to sleep any more. In a mountain village isolated from the world, the fate is fulfilled by a man mortally afflicted by a musical genius which prevents him from following the beating of his heart and settling for happiness with the woman whom he loves more than his own life

always

wherever i am
whoever i am with
whenever i find myself

it is always you who i hold in my heart

porque

porque os outros se mascaram mas tu não
porque os outros usam a virtude
para comprar o que não tem perdão

porque os outros têm medo mas tu não
porque os outros são os túmulos caiados
onde germina calada a podridão
porque os outros se calam mas tu não
porque os outros se compram e se vendem
e os seus gestos dão sempre dividendo
porque os outros são hábeis mas tu não

porque os outros vão à sombra dos abrigos
e tu vais de mãos dadas com os perigos
porque os outros calculam mas tu não

Sophia Mello Breyner

saint George and the dragon

Medieval storytellers, used to tell the story of Saint George, the Red Cross knight, son of an Arab Sheit, born in III century near Jerusalem, and one of the most famous heroes of Chivalry and Christianity.

Here follows the legend of Saint George and the dragon.

Once upon a time, in an Eastern town called Salem, in the country nowadays known as Lybia, a terrifying plague-bearing dragon materialized and set its nest in a spring north of the town, poisoning its water, and killing the fish and plants around. By night, the dragon used to fly around the countryside, eating cattle and spreading terror and flames on its path. Tales of its evil deeds start spreading all around the country, and fear grew in the hearts of the people, and discouraging the heart of the king of those lands.

One day, the folk of town decided to step up: armed with spikes and all sorts of household weaponry, they set foot to slay the vile dragon. “I will take out its tail”, “I will keep its fangs!” – boys and men shouted, while women prepared them for the fight with pride in their eyes. The King proclaimed a huge reward to whoever brought the head of the dragon. A group of 50 men and boy departed to the spring. None returned. At night, after seeing that the party wasn’t coming back, the people of the town started despairing and asking the king for help. All of the sudden a huge explosion arose from the city gates, and sprays of fire lighted the sky. “Insolents! Fools!” – shouted the dragon, “I will burn you all, you have no power over me”. The dragon slowly walked up to the palace, shaking its tail and destroying all houses around. “I want to see your king!” shouted the dragon. “Here I am!” said the king meekly – “what do you want creature of darkness, why don’t you leave my people alone?”
“You shouldn’t have bothered me” said the dragon with low voice, eyes piercing the king’s skull and fumes coming from its nostrils, “From now on, you shall feed me, you will bring me your cattle and sheep everyday, and if runs out, you will start giving me your maidens.” – the king’s heart squeezed in fear – “and if you don’t, I will raze your entire kingdom, letting you watch all of it, and when I’m satisfied, I’ll come to eat you”, and spreading its wings, the dragon flew away leaving a trail of wreckage behind.
And Alas, from that day on the folk would leave sheep and cattle by the river at dusk, for the dragon to eat. If on any day, the food wasn’t there, the dragon would circle the town and take out a man and a sheep.
Soon, all of the food supplies got exhausted.
The king decreed a lottery system to choose a victim from all maidens of age, who be sacrificed to appease the dragon, and every each one as it fell, were she gentle or poor, should be delivered when the lot fell on her.
One day, it happened that the lot fell on the king's daughter. The king could not believe his misfortune and, distraught with grief, begged the people to draw lots again. The people said no. The king, told the people they could have all his gold and silver and half of his kingdom if his daughter were spared; but the people still refused.
They said: “How sir! You have made and ordained the law, and most of our children are now dead, and yet you would do the contrary? Your daughter shall be given, or else we shall burn you and your house”. When the king saw he could do no more, he began to weep. “Now shall I never see you wed…” he cried to his daughter.

He then returned to the people and demanded eight days' respite. They granted it to him. And when the eight days were passed they came to him: “You see that the city perishes, we shall wait no longer”, they told the king. Then the king, got a beautiful wedding gown to his daughter like as she should be wedded, and embracing her, kissed her and gave her his blessing. The princess was then led to the place where the dragon was.

When she was there Saint George passed by, and when he saw a beautiful lady trembling and weeping, he approached the lady to help her.
“Go your way, my good knight, for I am doomed, and none can save me now. I shall perish at the hands of the evil” she said.
“Tell me what you have done and why you weep, and please trust me.”
When she saw that he would know, she said to him how she was delivered to the dragon and asked him to run and save himself.
“Fear not my fair lady”, said St. George, “doubt no thing, and fear not, as I shall help you”
“The dragon will kill you, you alone are no match for it”
“Have faith, as I have God on my side” replied St. George.
As they spoke the dragon reared out of the lake and headed towards to Saint George. After having led the lady to a place where she would be safe, Saint George fortified himself with the Sign of the Cross, and charged it on horseback with his lance and it with his magic sword Ascalon, gave it a grievous wound.

He then called the princess and asked her to take off the girdle or belt she had around the waist of her dress. He told her to tie it around the dragon’s neck, making a collar and lead. When this was done the dragon became very timid and tame. The dragon followed the lady like a meek beast on a leash. She and Saint George led the dragon back to the city, where it terrified the people at its approach. There in the market square, Saint George called out to them, saying “Love and the power of God tamed this dragon, and if you believe in them, I shall slay the dragon”, and with a blow of its sword, he slew the dragon and smote off his head, and commanded that it should be thrown out in fields, and the body was carted out of the city on four ox-carts.

Not only was the princess saved and the city relieved, but the people gave up their idols and accepted Christianity.

The king offered gold, silver, and half the kingdom to Saint George for his deed, to which he refused. “I shall want nothing else, but that you follow your faith and, if she accepts, the hand of the fair lady who seized my heart”. George was said to have married the princess and lived happily ever after.

Saint George is patron of the realm of England and the cry of men of war. His feast date, April 23, is considered the day of England and of Shakespeare. He inspired knights and kings all over the world, such as king Richard Lion Heart, who, in the 12th century, took out its emblem, a red cross on a white background, as the flag of England, and part of the British flag. The king's soldiers wore it on their tunics to avoid confusion in battle. Shakespeare’s cry of war, in Henry V, “God for Harry, England and St George”, still inspires British troops today.

In Barcelona, Catalonia, his feast, is one of the most important holidays where it is traditional to give a present to the loved one: red roses for women and books for men.

you can know what's in your life when you know what's in your heart

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly

Sam Keen

barcelona sabe a mar...

dreams to dream

out of the darkness of the night,
when the world goes wrong,
i can still make it right
i can see so far in my dreams
i'll follow them
and make them true

there's a world inside both of us
no one else ever sees.
You will be so happy
and go so far in my dreams…
somewhere in my dreams,
your dreams will come true

don’t let go,
if You stay close to me,
in my dreams, at least tonight,
You will see what i see:
in them,
You and me,
that always comes true,
that always seems right

this little light of mine...

... i'm goin' let it shine

girl [...]

Love you so much, cant count all the ways
i'd die for you girl, and all they can say is
he's not your kind
they never get tired of puttin me down
and i never know when i come around
what i'm gonna find

don't let them make up your mind
don't you know
girl, youll be a woman soon
please come take my hand
girl, youll be a woman soon
soon youll need a man

i've been misunderstood for all of my life
but what theyre sayin', girl, just cuts like a knife
the boys no good

well, i finally found what i've been looking for
but if they get the chance, they'll end it for sure
sure they would
baby, I've done all I could
it's up to you

girl, youll be a woman soon
please come take my hand
girl, youll be a woman soon
soon youll need a man

last night...

... my guardian angel has put up one hell of a fight...

nomad

lisbon, madrid, paris, london, brussels, rome, geneve, new york, sydney, cape town, buenos aires, sao paulo or luanda, whatever life offers me, it doesn't matter where i am...

...only you make me feel at home

falling

and I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
and I don't want to go home right now

and all I can taste is this moment
and all I can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later it's over
i just don't want to miss you tonight

lágrimas ocultas

se me ponho a cismar em outras eras
em que ri e cantei, em que era q'rida,
parece-me que foi noutras esferas,
parece-me que foi numa outra vida...

e a minha triste boca dolorida
que dantes tinha o rir das Primaveras,
esbate as linhas graves e severas
e cai num abandono de esquecida!
e fico, pensativa, olhando o vago...

toma a brandura plácida dum lago
o meu rosto de monja de marfim...
e as lágrimas que choro, branca e calma,
ninguém as vê brotar dentro da alma!
ninguém as vê cair dentro de mim!

Florbela Espanca

come what may

i’ll always be here to protect you, to take the darkness away and to bring you to daylight. I’ll protect your soul and will make sure that you'll be happy and that your dreams come true

now that i can hear it[ and that i found you]: i will follow my heart, even if that means that I need to put it on hold for a little longer...

i hate monday's [even if they're at a tuesday]...

... i need to sleep

one

Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now? You got someone to blame
You say: One love, One life
When it's one need, In the night
One love: we get to share it
Leaves you baby, if you Don't care for it...

Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love, and you want me to go without

Well it's Too late Tonight to drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other

Have you come here for forgiveness? Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus? To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much? More than a lot. You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
We're one but we're not the same, well we Hurt each other then we do it again

You say: love is a temple, love a higher law
Love is a temple, love the higher law
You ask me to enter but then you make me crawl, and I can't be holding on
to what you got, when all you got is hurt

One love, One blood, One life, you got to do what you should
We're One but we're not the same, we get to carry each other, carry each other

storyteller

i've written many stories, but none of them became my own

treasures from the chest II [the story of a lost key]

Part I:
It's not like you don't like the sun, it's just that the rain makes you feel cosy and protected when you're home. You love love stories and valiant discreet princes. You love OTH and all the series that make you dream and sight. You don't like Sci fi nor anything purely fictional because: it's not possible! You Love art and music as it transports you to another world where all the strokes were perfectly and harmoniously out, surrounded by music that lifts up your soul. You say you don't like surprises, as they're out of your control, but you love to be positively surprised. You love to be a princess, and to feel protected, and the boy must be the one to do the work…

Part II:
You want to move to Paris, lead a new exciting life, and leave the small town behind, but you're afraid that you'll lose your happy places, and you don't have any safe haven there yet. You love your dog, although sometimes he can be a real pain. You love your family, and it kills you to feel that they're spreading and fleeing from each other. You don't mind the distances, as long as you're close to the heart. You love your friends, and love to know that there are a precious few that no matter what will always be there. You like to feel that you're unique and special, but you don't like the loneliness. You love your independence, the quiet solitude of the night and to feel in control. You have been deeply hurt in the past, and you're scared that the person you've once been will never come back. You're not sure if you're ever going to trust or give yourself to someone for real again. You're proud and stubborn, you hate when other people are right and you're not. You're beautiful, inside and outside, but you're afraid to look into the mirror as you're not sure what you're going to see. You love flowers, chocolate and White. You love red wine, candles and to feel wanted.

Part III:
You love sexy underwear and you love to look into everything with a different set of eyes: you love to capture those unique moments that are perceptible only to those who know how to look. You love painting, but you lost your drive and are not sure how to get it again. You’re sexy and when you smile the world around is a better place. You like to cook, and love to host for the people you love. You really like your home, but right now, the walls have too many memories. You love anything that is spontaneous and pure from the heart, and you can't stand any feeble attempts to imitate it (you've got a pretty good eye to spot them). You easily get bored, drifting away to other worlds, whenever you're disliking the current one. You can't stand disappointment and people that are not true. You like to explore new places (selective ones), make them your special place. You like pretty much to eat, and anything that can get more sugar on it, it's good. You have a big heart, but you still don't know how to use it without leading to misunderstandings. You're not sure what the future holds, you don't even know what you want from it, but you have it clear what you don't want. You're afraid that some people think you're futile, just because you have a different way of looking at things. You love to speak through your eyes, and show what words would only ruin.

treasures from the chest I [the story of a lost key]

How can I reach your heart?
Tell me baby, 'cause I need to know
Everywhere I seek your smile,
Longing for kisses that are not there,
Everywhere I chase your shadow,
Trying to get (at least) a glimpse of you
No one fills in the world like you do,
Lightly, full of passion, colour and music.
No one makes my heart beat like you do,
Hoping that yours will sing someday too.
I want to hold you, to love and protect you,
I want to be your prince, your trust,
Your safe harbour, your lover and your friend
The road to you is blurry,
And the world is trying to keep us apart, but
I want to fight, to wait, and to travel to you
How can I reach your heart?
Tell me baby, 'cause I need to know

renascer [ou ressuscitar]

if you could reborn, recreate yourself, with all your lessons learned so far.
All past experiences: just a path to learn, to get the confort and the confidence you need to be in front of a new gate.
A clean sheet where you could write a new story.

what story would you write?

passion of the Christ

independentemente da religião de cada um, há dois mil anos, um homem revolucionou o mundo: mostrou a todos que o caminho é o amor e o perdão, a entrega incondicional pelos outros.

sem complicações, sem entraves, sem egoísmos, apenas amor.
por isso mataram-no e puseram-no numa cruz.
foi aí que tudo começou

hoje é dia de reflexão: matar os nossos passados, medos, egoísmos, inseguranças e poder renascer livres para criarmos um futuro onde somos felizes

rest of your life

the rest of your life is a long time and whether you know it or not it's being shaped right now.
You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices or you can fight back. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world, that's just the way it is but for the most part you get what you give.

Let me ask you all a question.
What's worse: not getting everything you wished for or getting it but finding out it's not enough?

The rest of your life is being shaped right now with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now

in OTH

tonight

somewhere tonight, a boy and a girl have found their dreams, their hearts, in each other’s eyes. somewhere tonight, a boy and a girl have fallen in love

tonight, was not my night

quarterlife crisis

(..) this phenomenon, known as the “Quarterlife Crisis,” is as ubiquitous as it is intangible. Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction is reported by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are usually urban, middle class and well-educated; those who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.

When a contemporary 25-year-old’s parents were 25, they weren’t concerned with keeping their options open: they were purposefully buying houses, making babies and making partner. Now, who we are and what we do is up to us, unbound to existing communities, families and class structures that offer leisure and self-determination to just a few. Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities. (...)


The mid-life crisis is a kind of ‘Is this it? I had a big plan, I had big ideas. Now I’m 48 and I guess I won’t get to do those things.’ The mid-life crisis is understood as one of resignation. A Quarterlife Crisis will resolve itself by hooking itself into a plan.” What that plan could be, though, might be vague, or feel altogether impossible to create. (...)

Attempts to manage the Quarterlife Crisis might be as banal as drinking a lot, doing a bunch of drugs, sleeping with idiots and myriad other kinds of self-flagellation, but broader attempts are made to find some sense of purpose. An obvious choice for panicking twentysomethings with a post-undergraduate sense of displacement and for the ones that aren’t fulfilled by their jobs is grad school.
(...) So it really depends.”Among the implicit promises made to this generation of twentysomethings was that they would have work that was engaging and creatively fulfilling.

The dissonance between a twentysomething’s pre-career expectations and the dissatisfaction they feel as part of the working world can be hugely defeating. As Kimmel says, “They don’t have much of a life plan about how to move from Point A to Point B. What happens very often is they have very big ambitions, [but] there is a mismatch between their planning for their lives and their ambitions.” He also says that the conflict is made more difficult because 25-year-olds are living “in an economic environment which is the most inhospitable in our history.”

SPENDING MONEY IS as fraught as making it. Multiple degrees, trips to Peru, and keeping up appearances on Saturday night all communicate values and desires, and having no consistent sense of “want” can reinforce the problem, often with trail of debt.

The twentysomething void is, in large part, due to the important evolution of sexual equality, and when sex, relationships, and family-building changes, everything does. Kimmel says, of men in particular, “Part of the Quarterlife Crisis is a kind of malaise that the end of your youth is really the end of fun. And that you’re never going to have any fun again, because you have to work. You’re never going to have sex again because you’re going to get married. Your life is over.” So why bother? Literal and figurative fucking around is infinitely more appealing to men who are still sorting out what they want their lives to look like.“Grown-ups understand that the choices we make also involve choices we don’t make,” Kimmel says. “We have some regrets and we carry [those] with us. Guys don’t get a lot of help in this from each other or from our culture. Culturally we have got to show guys that the other side of this is actually terrific.” He points out that, statistically, married men are happier and have more sex, and that fathers experience lower levels of depression. Still, Kimmel points out that very young marriage has the highest rate of divorce, and that men would do well to spend their unmarried years focused on their own growth, rather than Halo 3.

WOMEN ALSO FIND themselves conflicted, usually more than men, about the trajectory of their twenties as they relate to relationships. Sarah, who is 27 and works at a non-profit, wants to travel and get a master’s degree, but feels conflicted about doing either. “I want to have kids, and every day that goes by, I have this number in my head. It’s 32. It used to be 30. That’s only a few years from now. I’m thinking, if I don’t do some of this stuff now, before I have kids, am I going to be able to do it?” Women are roundly considered to be in biologically ideal form for baby-making in their twenties and early thirties, which are also prime fun-having and career-building years. For women who want all of the things promised by (theoretically) equal education, work and sex lives, the conflict of desires can be catastrophic.

In 1973, the average age for women to get married was 23, and for men, 25. By 2003, the average age for both rose about five years, a significant change that reflects both marriage-free cohabitation and purposefully delaying serious commitment. It also means that twentysomethings are increasingly going it alone in their financial lives, where they would historically be building assets and houses and portfolios alongside their partner. Women, especially, are buying homes on their own. It also means that loneliness and isolation are far more likely, particularly when being separated from the close friendships that make up university life happens without a family or back-up community in place.

THE EMOTIONAL TUMULT reported during, or remembered after, a Quarterlife Crisis has a scarily ineffable quality. This isolation and its private anxiety are pervasive, as is a longing for the way things were in the predictably structured eras of high school and college or university. The directionlessness and resulting immobility is made worse when twentysomethings going through the Crisis compare themselves to their peers, past and present, further convincing someone in the throes of it that they’re not only alone, but the worst kind of failure.

Twentysomethings are also inundated with constant but mostly empty communication, as the increasingly primary social sphere exists online instead of real life. Nothing could be more alienating to someone in the midst of a crisis than a tool like Facebook. Says James, “All sorts of half-forgotten acquaintances and abandoned friendships reappear in this spreadsheet of potential reasons to feel terrible about yourself. If you’re as petty as I am, you spend a lot of Facebook time gauging your own feelings of inadequacy in direct relation to other people’s success. All these people you couldn’t give a shit about a couple of years ago are now these omnipresent benchmarks and counterpoints to measure against whatever you have or haven’t got going on in your life.”

Adair, who is 30, found herself mired in a Quarterlife Crisis and sought professional help. She says, “I worked with a life coach, and he helped me a lot to realize that I was creating a vicious cycle in my life.... It was a cycle with four different phases, and I’ve followed it basically throughout my life. The steps were: I would get really excited about something, something new something different, something stellar, big. I went off to school totally excited and ready for an awesome experience. Stage two would be like ‘Oh, this is it? This is kind of boring now.’ After one-and-a-half exciting and non-stop years, I realized that I wasn’t excited about being there anymore. Stage three would be ‘What am I doing, why am I choosing to do this?’ In that third stage I would inevitably have some type of breakdown, [which] usually consisted of crying and talking through the feelings of emptiness and boredom with a friend or family member. Then I would have kind of breakthrough in that experience and get myself back up. At that point, I went abroad to Seville, Spain.... Now every time I’m faced with a change or new situation or find myself bored, I ask myself if this is a part of the cycle, or is this genuinely how I’m feeling.”

Having so much — youth, ability, independence — can feel like the worst possible scenario. What remains, though, is the potential for the years with anxiety and without direction to be reclaimed. Scheer sees real opportunity here. “If you feel you’re in crisis, this is a great opportunity to draft a five-year plan with steady concrete goals to help you get to where you want to be. Anyone can transform their life in just a few years.”

Michael Kimmel says “There is life on the other side of this, and it’s actually a pretty good one. Growing up may be hard to do, but in the end, the gains outweigh the losses.” In other words: it might just be time to grow the fuck up.

a parrot's tale

Once, in a land far away, there lived an old king who was terrified of dying. He sequestered himself in his chambers, refusing to see his viziers. He neglected affairs of state. His subjects worried. His attendants wept in private. The viziers had exhausted all options and plans to entice their king out of bed. The king's glorious parrot spread his emerald wings and flew up to the skies. Higher and higher, into the heavens he soared. He reached paradise and descended into its garden. He picked a fruit that had fallen from the Tree of Immortality. He returned to his master and said, "Take the seed of this fruit and plant it in fertile earth. Feed it love and wisdom and the sapling will turn into a fruit-bearing tree. Old age will forsake whoever eats from the tree's fruit, and vigour will revisit him." And the king's servants were surprised when their master called: "Plant this fruit's seed in my garden. I wish to glimpse its crop in my lifetime"

The sagacious bird, "Remember the legend of the wise King Solomon and the Fount of Immortality. He refused to quench his thirst, for he wished not to outlive his lived ones."
"Bah!" uttered the king. Life coursed through his veins, hope revived him, and he woke every morning to witness the incremental growth of his tree. "Love it more", he told his gardeners. "Faster, quicker, it must rise." The tree grew, and buds burst into flowers, from which small fruit appeared. Finally, the day arrived when the fruit was ripe and ready. "Pick that one", the vivacious king said. "It looks the most succulent."

The gardener carried a small ladder to the tree. At the same instant, an eagle high in the clouds saw a slithering snake not too far from the king's garden. The eagle lunged and clutched the snake, lifting it into the skies. With its final breath, the snake spat out its venom, and one drop fell upon the fruit as it was being presented to the king.
"Bring me an old fakir", the king demanded. When his servants found one, the king commanded that he taste the fruit. The fakir took one bite, kneeled over, and died.

The king raged. "Is that horrible parrot trying to hasten my demise?" He seized the bird by the feet, twirled the parrot above his head, and threw him against the tree. The parrot broke his neck and met his end. The tree became known as Tree of Poison, and none approached it.

As hope left him, the king grew sickly. He retired to his chambers once more and spent his time cursing the tree from his window. Soon he saw the spectre of death approaching.
While things were thus, a vicious young wife quarrelled with her old mother-in-law. The girl raised her voice at her elder and cursed. Shocked, the mother-in-law informed her son, and the ingrate took his wife's side. His mother was so livid and distraught that she resolved to kill herself so her son would be blamed for her death. She sought the garden, bit into a fruit from the Tree of Poison, and was instantly transformed into a youthful beauty.

"What miracle is this?" the lovely girl asked.
The king witnessed the transformation from his window. "How guilty am I?" he said to himself. "I have killed a true friend." He called his servants in a faint voice. "Pick me a fruit", he whispered.
But wicked death reached him before the picking.

in the Hakawati

nega-me

Nega-me o pão, o ar,
a luz, a primavera,
mas nunca o teu riso,
porque então morreria

Pablo Neruda

missing postcard

I don't run

Although tempting, it's not me...

I don't run from problems, I don't walk away on challenges [even if think they're almost impossible], and I don't run from my feelings [anymore].

Even tired, beaten and faithless, I face whatever comes.
Focused eyes, sharpened senses, and clear heart, I take all blows against me, defending and fighting the best I can [and more].

So, when offered an escape[poisoned] on a golden plate:
I smile, stop whining, and just be myself.

Africa can wait...

Well, I can bleed as well as anyone...

...but I need someone to help me sleep

what i wanted

I wanted to surprise you everyday.
wanted to be by your side whenever you needed:
to bring and open the champagne to celebrate,
or to dry your tears when you wanted to cry.
I wanted hold you tight promising I would never leave,
and wake up at your side, to see it was real.
I wanted to wait up for you outside your work[or school],
just to give you a flower, kiss, and then go back.
I wanted to show you my world, get in yours,
and to keep on travelling and discovering new universes with you.
I wanted to make you happy, and to assure you, that no matter what,
I’d be there, and to know you’d be there too.
I wanted to kiss you, to feel you, and to shout your name to the world,
or just stay by your side while you smiled me back
I wanted to stay up all night with you, just talking non sense,
watching movies, gaze at the stars, or just unleashing
all the passion I carry within
I wanted that when we danced, everything glittered,
and even in the crowd, the world was only the two of us,
I wanted to dream with you, dwelling in our imagination,
making impossible and surreal plans that would never work,
but also to fight for our dreams and to make them come true,
I wanted the future to be ours, the past just to stay behind,
and that our time followed no clock,
I wanted no guilt, regret nor sorrow,
and to watch you smile whenever I said "I love you",

I wanted you, and that was all that mattered

loner

I can feel and see much further than most people.
I know that now.
I accept it: it is who I am, and what makes me be myself.

It is also why, sometimes,
I just close my eyes, and pretend I don't see nor feel

untitled

Olhos tristes entregam-se numa última carícia,
Mágoas e imagens que se despedem,
num adeus de mar e de ternura.
As mãos entrelaçadas: nós e juras de amor eterno e fidelidade,
Suam nuas, sem consequências, nem verdade.
Lágrimas sinceras, choradas em silêncio, sem perdão,
Afogam dois amantes, perdendo-os
num último beijo, numa última tentação

chave de sonhos [a wizard tale]

if you ever want to chase your own dreams, to make them come true, just follow the yellow brick road. Before you know it, you're there already

escape

I thought, if you're really going to live in Africa, you have to be able to look at it and say, This is the way of love, down this road: Look at it hard. This is where it's going to lead you.I think you will know what I mean if I tell you love is worth nothing until it's tested by its own defeat. I felt I was being asked to love without being afraid of the consequences. I realized that love, even if it ends in defeat, gives you a kind of honour; but without love, you have no honour at all.

Rian Malan, in My Traitor's Heart

the thing that really bothers me...

...is that you'll only realize what you got once you lost it

encosta-te a mim

Nós já vivemos cem mil anos [talvez eu esteja a exagerar...]
Dá cabo dos teus desenganos, não queiras ver quem eu não sou, deixa-me chegar.
Chegado da guerra, fiz tudo p'ra sobreviver, em nome da terra [no fundo p'ra te merecer].
Recebe-me bem[, não desencantes os meus passos] faz de mim o teu herói: não quero adormecer.

Desatinamos tantas vezes, vizinha de mim: deixa ser meu o teu quintal.
Recebe esta pomba que não está armadilhada, foi comprada, foi roubada, seja como for...

Eu venho do nada porque arrasei o que não quis em nome da estrada onde só quero ser feliz.
Vai desarmar a flor queimada. Vai beijar o homem-bomba, quero adormecer.

Tudo o que eu vi, estou a partilhar contigo.
O que não vivi, hei-de inventar contigo
Sei que não sei, às vezes entender o teu olhar, mas quero-te bem
Encosta-te a mim.

Tu tens um medo:
Acabar.

Não vês que acabas todos os dias...
Que morres no amor, na tristeza, na dúvida, no desejo

Que te renovas todos os dias, no amor, na tristeza, na dúvida, no desejo.

Que és sempre outra.
Que és sempre a mesma.
Que morrerás por idades imensas.
Até não teres medo de morrer. E então serás eterna.

Cecília Meireles