terça-feira, 13 de janeiro de 2009

reencontros

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now preparing for landing, could you please fasten your seat belts..." - an electronic voice announces, waking me up from a feeble 1 hour nap, after 5 hours of attempts.
Only one month has passed, although it seemed an eternity: I missed you everyday and couldn't but regret how I left. Too many words unspoken, too many misunderstandings, and too much pride have drifted us away. How could I let you go?
"Mr. A. here is your coat. We have a message for you from land" - says an air attendant as she passes me a small note:

“Congrats on the job well done A. One more trophy on our shelf.
You keep this rhythm and we can retire in less than a year!
I don’t want to see you in the office on the next days, I have some ideas I’d like to discuss with you, but I need your full brainpower, and you need some rest. Go to the beach or play golf, and then we’ll talk.
M.”
This is what I do: get ideas and dreams and make them come true. To be honest, I’m not even sure how I do it. I just ensure that no matter what happens, I try to keep everyone on track and deal with every problem, on a one by one basis. Yet, when it comes to you, I am but at lost. I see a world of logic, and interconnections, but when it comes to feelings, I’m but a child trying to learn its way.
As the plane lands, I look around recognizing the city I left some time ago. Nothing changed. It is good to have some things remaining the same: you know what you can count on.
The sky is clean, and the city seems to be a sophisticated ants’ farm, full of lights and life. The roads seem to be clear, which allow me to quickly take a cab back home or to the nearest hotel… I’ll need to think what I’ll do, but I’ll leave that for tomorrow.
Right now, all I need is quick jog, a warm shower and a proper bed.
All passengers start rushing out of plane.
The smell of wet land, and the pools of water in the runway, washes my spirits, and I keep seeing flashes of all the good moments we spent together. Little strips of film that keep on running in my head, making me smile.
Although I haven’t brought much luggage, thank god for the laundries and stores open till midnight, I still wait half an hour for my suitcases. I’m not used to hearing this language anymore.
The airport is in a frenetic buzz, people from all over the world seem to be arriving, bringing together a colourful set of clothing, races and cultures. Luggage all over the place, huge cues on passport control, people getting lost between transfers, arrivals and departures, all stores full, people sleeping in the waiting seats, frustrated by delays, cabbies asking if you need a private transport or anything else, the airport is at its best. At the exit, the usual crowd cheers the newcomers with cards of welcome or more private cars hires ready to take you.
All of the sudden, two children escape from the crowd and rush into me, grabbing my legs – “Daddy, daddy! Have you brought any presents??”
I get down and kiss each one in the forehead, while they hug me as if trying to keep me from ever moving again – “We’ll see about that later. I missed you kids. Where’s you mother?”
I slowly lift my eyes and see you coming to me. Every cell in my body suddenly remembers why I want to live the rest of my life with you.
I’m not able to say a word. I get up and just stay there, looking into your eyes, trying to say I’m sorry.
You smile, and hug me into an infinite moment where everything else disappears and doesn’t matter anymore. And while I kiss you, you just whisper – “Welcome home”

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